Buddy: Coach McGregor was fired simply because we do not like the way he has abandoned our tradition here in Dillon. He has come in, he has changed practices, closed them down. He is not attending the Booster Club meetings, he has changed the Pep Rally and he has managed to destroy our record setting offense in a very short period time, which has angered many parents and the fans; not to mention the players. I believe I saw our quarterback and our star running back in a fist fight at the end of the game the other night in the middle of the daggone football field.
Attorney: It was in a game you won, Buddy.
Buddy: That’s not the point, Barbara. That’s not the point. You, being from Larabie, wouldn’t understand that here in Dillon, we win seasons, we don’t win games. State championships. Unfortunately, Coach McGregor was not getting the job done, we fired him, end of story.
Attorney: You’re speaking for everyone here?
Buddy: You bet your ass I am.
Buddy: That guy is pushing you guys way too hard. He’s got you running out there in the hot blazing sun, showing no mercy. And I got it from my inside sources that the practices have been running over 15 minutes. It ran over today. It’s no wonder you passed out.
Tim: Actually, I think I passed out because I was hungover, Mr. Garrity.
*Buddy pulls the car over*
Buddy: I want you to listen to me, Tim Riggins. I don’t ever want to hear you say that again. I’ve seen you play with a hangover many times and you played like a champ. This is because of that coach. This is all about McGregor and I don’t want you to put any of that on yourself. Okay?
Buddy: So how is Neil Kenny doing?
Eric: How the hell did you know I went out with Neil Kenny?
Buddy: Notepad. Something I learned on Magnum P.I.
Eric: (holding a piece of paper that Buddy had shaded over with a pencil to read the impressions) You’ve gotta be kidding me!
Buddy Garrity Car Commercial